What Type of Jew Are YOU?

Posted: April 2, 2010 in Community

Yeshivish, Harry, modern orthodox, chassidish, heimish, flatbush, fivetowns, out of towner, tuna beigel, sephardi and israeli. Who gives a fuck anyway? Ya of course were all different. Oh ya.

 You got your harry who goes protesting for the rights of the oppressed citizens of whichever land happens to be oppressing its citizens at that time, goes to Israeli day parades and tries to save the trees.  Then you got your chassid who for some odd reason seems to be afraid of falling in love with his sister and has separate seating at his shabbos table. (Ya I know they’re not all that extreme. Actually most aren’t. Don’t miss the point.) This guy eats at that restaurant, the other guy wouldn’t dare. Or at least he wouldn’t dare be SEEN there. Chabad has their mitzvah tanks, farbrengens and hot chicks.( Did I mention I love Chabad?) Yeshivish people have a thing for making their parents go broke supporting them for eternity and love to rant about the shidduch crisis. Everybody seems to like eating cholent thursday night. And every night for that matter. But as I said who gives a flying fuck?

 I got friends going to the Israeli Day Parade and they ain’t harries. Not by a long shot. Some are chabad some are out of towners. And they all love cholent and vodka. Then you got a whole bunch of people hitting up some party and in walks some guy with long payos. Did I mention guys with long peyos don’t GO to these things? Oh woops. You have the guy learning his brains off in Israel and loves to bang a different chick every night. Then you have the syrian with no money. Even THAT can happen.

We’ve sorta reached the blending of the categorizations and labels people are so accustomed to using. So time to take off those goddamn goggles that we look at other people through and throw em out! Go naked for a bit, see how it feels.

You see like I said noone gives a damn anyway. And that the thought of most of todays young. There’s almost no at risk group anymore. But that’s for another day, stay tuned!


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