Posts Tagged ‘2010’

Generations have changed. It’s true. There’s a lot to complain about the way we young folk are, yet at the same time I’m celebrating. Yes we are far more decadent than my granpda’s peers probably were. But in essence we just have have different quirks. Let me illustrate with one quick thought:

When my grandpa was a kid he had a practice of giving a girl a wedding ring and then having children. At my age I much prefer to see if the baby is as awesome as I am, and only then give her a wedding ring, sort of as a thank you gift.

Now who’s the one with the quirks now?

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This is the perspective of a modern orthodox friend of mine on the issue.
“The Frummy Who Finagled.”
I have firmly held the belief throughout my life that Judaism allows men and women to be able to be in contact with each other. The Torah, though it is male-dominated due to its writing in a time when the world was male-dominated, still has encounters in which unmarried, single man has spoken to and been attracted to unmarried woman, and, though at times it has had negative connotations, (like Dina- she may have flirted a little much with a prince. Bad idea Dina. You never flirt with an entitled teenager) the fact is that male and female conversation is quite common in the Bible, and in no instances does the Bible ban such encounter.
This disclaimer brings me to a CalmKallahs topic in which a Beis Yaakov girl, KEEP READING THERE’S MOAR!

So there’s this girl who wrote into the forum known as CalmKallahs.com completely freaking out. She posted there the following:

“k-i am your typical frum girl in shidduchim-learning guys… i am freaking out and dont know what to do with myself… to make a long story short- i met a guy who i cannot marry- for a lot of reasons-but we liked each other so much and ended up talking, eventually meeting and got physical and recently we had sex. i am flipping out. i never talked to a guy b4 except on dates and dont no what to do…. will i still be able to marry a frum learning boy? am i ruined forever? in my heart i am still a frum bais yaakov girleven tho i know i messed up big time and have not told anyone about this and cant imagine doing so- no one would ever believe it so dont tell me to tell my parents. please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel so lost and hopeless!!!”

Let me preface by saying I completely understand the world in which she comes from. I came from there too. So it’s not her I think is amazingly lost, but her world. (And my past?)

It’s sad that a community exists that has such issues. A girl kKEEP READING THERE’S MOAR!

My friend sent this video to me. It’s a new release by The Lonely Island from SNL with Akon called I Just had Sex. It kind of is a sure sign that we have come full circle from the sexual supression of the 50’s…on the other hand is this just too far?  It adds to the Lonely Island Collection Jizz in My pants and I’m on a Boat…It almost reminds me of this video by Spose called I’m Awesome. Either way here it is..lemme know what you think.

This is in response to another blogger who claimed her sister going on a diet would ruin the economy. This is my response.

Dear Pegoleg,

You recently wrote a post explaining how if your sister goes on a diet, she’ll be ruining the economy. I think she’ll be ruining alot more than that. Here’s why:

You see, if your girls like sister doesn’t diet, she’ll remain fat. And then guys like myself, who like to go out and have a good time, will be less likely to do so this year because there won’t be any beautiful women for us. And that would make for a bunch of very grumpy men walking around.

Grumpy men who’d have no choice but to resort to porn. Now I understand those porn stars clearly had some major daddy issues, but if not for a bunch of men sitting and watching those girls getting nailed, girls with daddy issues would’ve been okay doing what girls with messed up daddys had to do for years…which in all likelyhood probably meant being a hooker, but that’s besides the point. At least they’d be fornicating in private without the latest in HD video capturing every moan. But no, we have to make sure that in our enlightened western society of 2010 we make sure that there will always be an audience waiting for that hot oh-so-skinny chic to be nailed in public. As long as the economy will be safe, because your sister sacrificed her looks for, all’s well.

But in truth it really won’t matter either way, because that fat girl’s self esteem will all but dissapear, and then she’ll either be desperate and get with someone fat and bald, or become anorexic and depressed, showing the same symptoms as the girl with daddy issues. And, well you know what will come next…

With much love,

Kissmeimshomer

Decadent…Bus Ads?

Posted: December 8, 2010 in Religion, Sex
Tags: , , , , ,

I’m surfing the web instead of being busy with the things I need to get done before Thursday. Confession. But I did come across this article by Rabbi Brad Hirschfield titled When Bikinis and Black Hats Collide and thought the way he spoke about certain points was powerful and clear –  almost irrefutable. Although opinions are not fact, he manages to make his seem damn close. I’ve made red the part that caught my eye.

Is this nation governed by its laws or by the whims of narrowly defined religious groups? As we fight for greater freedom in Afghanistan, can we still assure our own freedom of expression here at home? Those questions are up for grabs in New York City, and if it can happen there, it can happen anywhere.

The New York Metropolitan Transit Authority removed advertising from all its buses which pass through heavily Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Well, not all the ads, just the ones for Georgi vodka, which feature bikini-clad (more…)

Birthdays. For years, birthdays would evoke memories of family gatherings, birthday cakes, and presents, along with cards sent from distant relatives. As we entered into the technological era, the party venue has evolved into something of an entirely different nature.

People today seem to feel an obligation to write on the Facebook Wall of the person whose birthday it is. And people expect it.

Gone are the birthday cards, cakes, and warm family parties. In its place is a long line of people well wishing against a now-familiar blue backdrop we spend most of our life on. Many times this place can become drama-filled, cold and unwelcoming. Especially on your birthday.

I always like observing the different wishes people send over Facebook and have divided them into 3 categories:

1. The Friend.

Typically someone who knows the person well. Comfortable in their relationship, not trying to prove anything. Simply wishing a happy birthday.

A typical example would be:

“Happy birthday!! Many many more!”

2. Best Friend. Typically someone who spends all their time with the person, shares alot of jokes with them.

A typical example would be:

Girl2Girl: OMG HAPPY BDAY GIRLY! ur finnaaaaaaaally 18!!!!! my yummy bearlovegirl is growing uppppp! cya tonite mwaa!!!

Guy2Guy: yo duuuuuude wtf man we gotta party. btw its sikkkk ur finally 21 we gonna partyyyyyy!

I left out the Girl2Guy and Guy2Girl, just because.

3. The Acquaintance.

Someone who sees the person from time to time. Likely wants to be polite or just not fall off the radar. They may like to prove their social status by showing using the birthday wish to show that they’re acquainted. A certain level of awkwardness is to be expected.

A few examples would be:

“happy bday”

That translates into the guy who is an acquaintance but is just saying happy birthday. Nothing more.

“Happy b-day :)”

This is the acquaintance who feels to awkward just giving a plain “happy bday” so ads a smiley. Likely it’s a girl2guy or guy2girl comment.

“happppy bdaaaayyyyy!!

This is the acquaintance who feels the need to prove to himself, the world and whoever else he feels is listening that him and the birthday-wish recipient are tight!

4. Facebook Friend Only

This person doesn’t care about the recipient of his wishes at all. He is friends with them because they bumped into each other once, they have mutual friends and so one friended the other, or he simply wanted to see that guy’s friends list. (no I don’t friend people to see their friends list. Ever.)

A typical example would be:

“Hey happy b-day whens the party????”

or

“awesome ur 21 now we can party” – followed by a text “so wheren’s the party dude”

In reality I feel that Facebook is becoming a warmer place than it had been, as more an more of our lives become integrated with Facebook.

But this one card says it best:

People are. (They make something of themselves.) People aren’t. (They don’t) People are and say they aren’t. The worst kind are the ones who aren’t, but think they are. They’ve always existed. We know we’re in real trouble when we, as a society of respectable people, give them credibility.

A man used to go to university, get a job, marry his highschool sweetheart, raise a family and die a respected and upstanding citizen. Or a feared gangster. Whichever way you have it. He accomplished fame or achieved notoriety.

Came the new millenium, along with it came smart phones, Facebook, Twitter blogs, and texting vs. talking. Heck, there’s even sexting. This changed the way we think, act and dress. And I’d be hard pressed to explain why.

We’ve become a People- and I capitalize it because we’ve almost changed ourselves as a species- who feel like we are Somebodies (capital to denote extreme and unwarranted sense of self importance), because we’re more proficient with technology than the previous generation. Suddenly every kid straight out of college has “contacts” through extensive “social networking.” That leads some of them to believe they are artists  “making music.”  In the 90’s if you were someone who’s hit the big 3-0 with less than 10k in the bank and spent your day attempting to compose music, people told you to get a real job. Today you have a website and a bicycle along with a mac (and  skinny jeans, beard and ponytail) and you can call yourself whatever you want. Talent agent. Producer.  Businessman. Whatever.

We’ve techno-morphed into a People who don’t have the balls to make anything of ourselves. We simply are a People of who aren’t but think they are. The sad part is we know it. And we’re all to blame for it.

And the results can be- how shall I put it- odd. Disconcerting. Tragically comical. Just look at Dumbo. Or any other extremely artsy place. Everyone there has a business selling random crap that noone will ever want or need, let alone be able to identify. And the store and shop owners are never in their always empty stores.

Now I’m all for dreams and going for what you want out of life, but I sure hope that involves more than pretending to be cultured because you sell environmentally responsible…stuff.

And you aren’t a “small business owner” because you re-brand Grandma’s panties as vintage lingerie.

Besides, what ever happened to some good food? I understand the need for replacing greasy diners, but what’s wrong with a good old Chipotle’s? Why must every store sell organic whole wheat sandwiches with strange unrecognizable beverages to boot? Are we trying to be upscale? Is it the need to purchase the unrecognizable label that drives us to avoid good ol’ coke? Or perhaps drinking Perrier is no longer cultured enough? Too crass and un-artsy.

Getting back on topic, I don’t think this sad result of what seems to be an over involvement of technology in our already egotistical lives is the worst thing to have happened to our society, or lack thereof, because it allowed people to break the notion that success wears a suit and tie and works in a high-rise building in Manhattan. It allowed for true creativity to rise. Maybe.

For those of you who wonder why I post erratically, the answer is quite simple- I don’t LOOK for things to post. I let the inspiration of the moment speak for itself. Similar to when I cook- I figure out basically what I want to make, say a stir-fry, and the I let the food speak to me. Sounds crazy, I know. But that’s how I work.

Well, I just had a beer and was sitting watching Nip-Tuck, when Dr. Troy mentioned about swearing off drinking and then waking up with a hangover. It hit me at that moment- quite in a similar way to when I was at my friends place on Fire Island and the absurdity of religion hit me as I watched real normal American life unfold in front of me – when the word drinking was said in a very innocent way. Let me begin with the following.

I never really drank, even on Purim, until I was maybe in 12th grade or even older. I went to Israel, and by the time I came back I was fast becoming not religious. Shortly thereafter as I mentioned I began working in Manhattan. Grabbing drinks after work on Stone Street- you gotta check that place out- became commonplace, as did coming home drunk on Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday nights, more often than not at least two of those. My mom looked at drinking like  an unbelievable evil. Even on Purim, when all other people I knew got shitfaced I always felt uncomfortable taking a drink in high school. So you can imagine at this point my mom wasn’t thrilled. Now they weren’t – still aren’t – the type of people to say anything to me, but I knew my mom looked at drinking on the weekends like an unbelievably irresponsible and sad thing.

Just recently I went away with some friends. I took the family car and loaded it up with some beers for the road. Not for the road literally but for when we stopped driving for the night. We didn’t end up drinking at all so I unloaded the beers from the car when I got home and brought them into my room. Inadvertently I left one bottle in the car. My mom found it and went ballistic, assuming I take to drinking while driving. Now I can assure you that I do no such thing. If I so much as had a beer I won’t drive for a long while, to be sure all the alcohol is out of my system. I calmed her down and life went on.

Ok, so what hit me was the following. Here’s my mom, and many people in the Jewish community, who assume that drinking is evil. Yet on Purim most seem to have no problem. Yes, there are calls for being safe, and some call for not drinking at all. But the overwhelming feeling people have about Purim is that it’s OK to drink. My mom feels one can drink on Purim, but drinking any other time of the year is completely immature. Now who the hell made that bullshit up? Just because YOU decide to go along with the rest of the largely pathetic Frum community and drink on Purim, doesn’t mean that day is any different than others. Who made up that drinking on Purim is ok, and only once a year??

At least my mom herself never drinks. But my dad drinks on Purim and has a shot or two or three at the Shabbos meal and yet still tells of the “horrors” of Yeshiva guys drinking at weddings. Who the fuck doesn’t drink at weddings??

Now I’m not an alcoholic.  Far from it, but social drinking that doesn’t interrupt your life, nor do you feel that not drinking will ruin that night, is perfectly acceptable. And to suggest otherwise, while condoning drinking on YOUR holiday is the talk of asinine and pathetic hypocrites.

Personally, I find that there’s nothing like a few drinks to get both parties interested and loosened up…so can I buy you a drink?

So much for the age gap being the source of “The Shidduch Crisis.” He’s done more for the crisis than anyone. It’s called having multiple girlfriends. This way no one gets left out. Just make sure both girls know about the other one. Otherwise it can get messy.

There a website that’s kind of an online dating service for yeshivish people, but they’ve got some crazy stuff in their about page.

Here’s what I would love to write to them:

Hey, it’s an awesome service you guys are providing. I mean, I get it. Ad sense is powerful. But you’re feeding into a community that’s very, very sick. “We do not post open pictures or inappropriate articles; there is no chat or direct emailing between singles; and we are very careful about maintaining the privacy and dignity of every single on our database.”

Damn! And you guys complain about a shidduch crisis. No shit! Guys, get with the program, welcome to 2010. And no, God doesn’t give a shit if a guy so much as LOOKS  at a girl. And if you think he does….well consider yourself sick too.

Sincerely,

Former member of the cult called Yeshivish Judaism.

Tho these guys are seriously fucked up.

“There’s no internet here…and this way its Kosher, al pi taharas hkodesh (according to the pure and holy path) ….(in response to why skype won’t work) you’re going to be in front of your computer, you can go onsite, and look at any www site(GASP!)

that’s all you can do there’s no Chashah (worry) of anything…”

Jesus. Christ. Imagine that. Someone might actually log onto facebook or watch some porn…or the worst of all…YouTube!

So these guys have created video conferencing, or seem to think they have, in order to avoid having young prospective mates drive out unnecessarily for miles to meet up. This way they can meet online, and decide if they want to meet in person. Talk about awkward. It kind of tops off what was already an awkward mating system. It sure isn’t dating.

After seeing this video, I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or vomit. Or maybe all 3. It’s both tragic and funny (as in laugh-at, not laugh-with). Does anyone else find this even remotely the work of sane people?

…and of course the opening was covered by the local blog/paper/news service (?) .