Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Actual, typical Craigslist ad for servers. I had some thoughts as I was reading it.

New Gastropub in NYC is holding open call interviews for Bartenders and Wait staff. With a 100 seat restaurant and 70 seat sidewalk cafe, we will be opening in mid July so candidates will need to be available to start training on Monday 11th July. We are looking for full time staff that are professional and have a genuine passion for the food and service industry. We are not interested in tip chasers. (Well why the fuck do you think people work as servers?) We will have a large selection of both draft and bottled beer. An eclectic wine and cocktail menu along with excellent gastropub style food. (eclectic wine list with excellent pubgrub, eh? I just chuckled. *Fart*)

Please Please Please only apply for these positions if you have the following list of skills and characteristics;
You will be (more…)

sometimes, change can be a good thing

Traditions can sometimes be nice. Rules helpful. Both meant to be broken. Some were never meant to be made in the first place. Such as:

1. Poking.

I’m referring to Facebook poking of course. The other type of poking should be avoided at all costs. (Even if it means showering without soap.) I mean, if you’re too shy to message that girl you haven’t spoken to in a while, you think poking her will help? It’s like typing a “period” when a girl hasn’t texted back, so she’ll see you texted her. Then you pass it off as an accident. Lame. C’mon we know you do that.

Bottom line: It’s old, pointless, and should definitely go!

2. “Please listen closely as our menu options have changed.” 

I don’t call you that often. And even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t memorize (more…)

Religious Impersonator Deena Mann

Posted: March 10, 2011 in Random
Tags: , , ,

This girl is probably on the fringes of the Chasidic world…I don’t remember where I first saw her videos but they seem to be growing in popularity…I keep seeing it reposted on Facebook. Don’t have more than links for most of them.

Gettin’ her nails did

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=390944325334

Calling out Bloomberg as Sheniqua

Purim as Sheniqua

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150112727130335

imitating hasidic jews going to Miami…she finally got a youtube channel…80,000 views and counting

A response by someone to Deena’s video. This girl takes the accent of the most Yeshivish Rebbetzins out there…she’s pretty damn accurate, it’s scary.

Introducing the Foreskins!

Posted: October 25, 2010 in Religion
Tags: , , , ,

I don't wanna know where their other hands are...

My friend started a new band called “The Foreskins” and figured I’d give you guys a sneak peak to the song titles of his new album “Pedophile in The Shteeble”. The titles came (!) to him when in a flash of sheer genius he blurted these out. As they say, there isn’t a genius without a “touch” of madness…pun intended. :p

1. Stroke the Beard

2. Chap the Rebbe’s Tish (Under the Rebbe’s Tish?)

3. Mikva Tance

4. Under the Bekeshe

5. Shake My Lulav

6.Tzvai Kreplach

7. Touched By A Rabbi

8. Matzah Ball Sandwich

9. Foreskin Gemach

10. Gay Shlufen

11. Placenta Inda Cholent

12. Blow My Shofer